Sunday 31 August 2014

CHANGE IS NOT ALWAYS EASY!



Once upon a time, there was an unfortunate poor man. His home was also very poor – a small and empty house, where mice made their nests and spiders made their webs. People tried to avoid coming into his house – why should they stick their noses into those poor ruins? And the poor man thought that poverty is the reason of his misfortunes – his eternal destiny.

So once, the poor man met a wizard and complained to him about his poverty and miserable life. The wizard felt sorry for the poor man and gave him an unprecedented vase. And said: “This is a magical vase that will save you from poverty”

The poor man took the vase and wanted to sell it at first and then spend the money on alcohol, as usual, besides, why would he need such a beautiful thing? But then he started admiring the vase and couldn’t take it to the market. He brought the vase home, put it on the table and started admiring it.
“It’s not right for such a beautiful thing to be empty”, the poor man thought. So he picked some wildflowers and put them into the vase. It became even more beautiful.

“ Not good, the poor man though again, that such a beautiful thing stands next to a spider web”.
So the poor man started cleaning his house from spider webs, sweeping out cockroaches and mice, cleaning the dust, washing the floor and the walls, whitening the ceiling.

And it became clear that his house wasn’t poor, but rather warm and cosy. And the poor man wasn’t a poor man anymore, but a hard working man, who had no time for thoughts about misfortune.
 “Information is not knowledge.” ~Einstein
A few years ago I was lost, frustrated, scared, unsure, anxious, trapped, unfulfilled, smothered by society’s expectations. Didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do with my life.
I cared for myself enough to transform my life, but I didn’t have the slightest clue where to start. I spent my days wishing that things would change—that I could escape a life that my soul could no longer bear.
The worst part of all, I was living the life that society had always told me to live. they would say,  “ work hard  and work your way up the ladder.”
I don’t know about you, but it turns out that for me, the “right thing to do” sucked the joy out of life.
Imagine feeling trapped in an unsatisying existence. Wasting your precious time doing things that you really don’t want to be doing. Being afraid to express your uniqueness. Having fun on the weekends then dreading the upcoming week. Maybe you don’t have to imagine it; maybe your life is just like mine was, few moments of satisfaction drowned out by a constant grind of work that doesn’t fulfill you.
Then something hit me. It was a proverbial hammer to my head. I’d heard it before, but it had never sunk in. Then, as if out of nowhere, a voice in my head spoke loudly and clearly.
“Discover who you truly are and fully give every aspect of your uniqueness to the world. This is your path to an extraordinary life.”
I followed this wisdom as if my life depended on it. And I can tell you that my life has changed for the better since I followed this guidance.
I can tell you without any doubt that the greatest piece of wisdom that I’ve discovered in my life thus far is this:
If you want to live an extraordinary life it is imperative that you know who you truly are, and to do so you must explore who you truly are.
The 6 questions below changed my life forever. They will also change your life forever by allowing you to find your true self, and in doing so, discover why you’ve been born into this great world.
I’m not talking about the “self’” that others demand you to be or the self that acts a certain way to fit in and conform with what society accepts. I’m talking about the true you—the you who wants to authentically express your special and unique qualities to the world.
By answering these questions you will discover your unique passions, strengths, values, desires, and motivations, which are all yearning for your expression.
You have a unique purpose. Discovering the answers to these questions will allow you to align yourself with that purpose and bring real magic into your life.
Self-knowledge is the greatest knowledge that you will ever acquire. Why? Because your ability to fulfill your unique internal drive will determine your ability to fulfill your potential, which in turn determines the quality of your life.
The questions below are designed to help to know yourself deeply and find what is truly important to you. We all have an unexpressed potential; the exercises are specifically designed to help you find yours.
1. What do I absolutely love in life?
List anything that you love about the world and the people in your life. Think about any activities that get you excited and enthusiastic and make you feel most alive. This can be absolutely anything: music, sports, cooking, teaching others, learning, watching movies—anything. Within your love for these things lies deep passion.
2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?
List all of the moments that you are proud of as well as the times that you’ve succeeded. To have accomplished these, you would have used some of your key strengths. See if you can identify why you succeeded. Also, list any activities, hobbies, or anything else that you do that you complete with ease. Within these lie greatest strengths.
3. What would I stand for if I knew no one would judge me?
List everything that you would do if you weren’t afraid, even your wildest dreams. This will help you discover your greatest values.
4. If my life had absolutely no limits and I could have it all and do whatever I wanted, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?
Describe your ideal lifestyle. List what you would do throughout the day if you knew that you were bound to be successful, what kind of person you would be, how much money you would earn, and where you would live.
This question allows you to realize who you would truly want to be if there were no limits. By aligning with this you can begin working towards the life that you truly want to create. Know that you wouldn’t have a desire if you didn’t also have the ability to fulfil it.
5. What would I do if I had one billion dollars?
List everything that you would really love to do if you had all the money in the world. Okay, so you would probably travel the world, buy a house or two, and give some money to your family. Then what would you do with your time?
This question helps you to think without limitations. When we are able to remove limitations and boundaries, we can discover what we really want to do.
6. Who do I admire most in the world?
List your greatest inspirations and the qualities that you admire about these people. Think about what really inspires you in this world. What you admire about others is also a quality that is in you. Know that you admire someone because they have similar qualities to you.
Taking the time to answer these question will change your life. The more that you can implement your passions, strengths, values, desires, and motivations into your days, the happier your life will become!
You can study to become a doctor, lawyer, teacher, or anything else, but this knowledge will only take you so far. Meanwhile, discovering the deep wisdom of self-knowledge will ensure that your life is far more meaningful and fulfilling. I’ve got a feeling that is what Einstein meant when he said “Information is not knowledge.”
The most valuable knowledge that you will ever discover is, and always will be, within.
                                                   
                                                                      THE END.

Wednesday 4 June 2014

IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE




True life story of a cab driver; twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. One time I
arrived in the middle of the night for a pick up at a building
that was dark except for a single light in a ground floor
window.

Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk
once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But I had
seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis
as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation
smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This
passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I
reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked.
"Just a minute," answered a frail, elderly voice.

I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After
a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's
stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a
pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a
1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase.

The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years.
All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no
clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the
counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with
photos and glassware.

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took
the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.
She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.
She kept thanking me for my kindness.
"It's nothing," I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers
the way I would want my mother treated."
"Oh, you're such a good boy," she said. When we got in the
cab, she gave me an address, then asked, "Could you drive
through downtown?"
"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.
"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way
to a hospice."
I looked in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were glistening.
"I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor
says I don't have very long."

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route
would you like me to take?" I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She
showed me the building where she had once worked as an
elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood
where she and her husband had lived when they were
newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture
warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had
gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular
building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness,
saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she
suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now."
We drove in silence to the address she had given me.
It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with
a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came
out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were
solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must
have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the
small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated
in a wheelchair.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her
purse.
"Nothing," I said.
"You have to make a living," she answered.
"There are other passengers."
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held
onto me tightly.

"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said.
"Thank you."
I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning
light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the
closing of a life.
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove
aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could
hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver,
or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had
refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven
away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything
more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that
our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments
often catch us unawarebeautifully wrapped in what others
may consider a small one.

The End.

Monday 12 May 2014

WHAT REALLY MATTERS IN YOUR LIFE?


A vacationing American businessman standing on the pier
of a quaint coastal fishing village in southern Mexico
watched as a small boat with just one young Mexican
fisherman pulled into the dock. Inside the small boat were
several large yellowfin tuna. Enjoying the warmth of the
early afternoon sun, the American complimented the
Mexican on the quality of his fish.

"How long did it take you to catch them?" the American
casually asked.

"Oh, a few hours," the Mexican fisherman replied.
"Why don't you stay out longer and catch more fish?" the
American businessman then asked.

The Mexican warmly replied, "With this I have more than
enough to support my family's needs."

The businessman then became serious, "But what do you
do with the rest of your time?"

Responding with a smile, the Mexican fisherman answered,
"I sleep late, play with my children, watch ballgames, and
take siesta with my wife. Sometimes in the evenings I take a
stroll into the village to see my friends, play the guitar, sing
a few songs..."

The American businessman impatiently interrupted, "Look, I
have an MBA from Harvard, and I can help you to be more
profitable. You can start by fishing several hours longer
every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With
the extra money, you can buy a bigger boat. With the
additional income that larger boat will bring, before long
you can buy a second boat, then a third one, and so on, until
you have an entire fleet of fishing boats."

Proud of his own sharp thinking, he excitedly elaborated a
grand scheme which could bring even bigger profits, "Then,
instead of selling your catch to a middleman you'll be able
to sell your fish directly to the processor, or even open your
own cannery. Eventually, you could control the product,
processing and distribution. You could leave this tiny
coastal village and move to Mexico City, or possibly even
Los Angeles or New York City, where you could even further
expand your enterprise."

Having never thought of such things, the Mexican fisherman
asked, "But how long will all this take?"
After a rapid mental calculation, the Harvard MBA
pronounced, "Probably about 15-20 years, maybe less if
you work really hard."

"And then what, seƱor?" asked the fisherman.
"Why, that's the best part!" answered the businessman with
a laugh. "When the time is right, you would sell your
company stock to the public and become very rich. You
would make millions."

"Millions? Really? What would I do with it all?" asked the
young fisherman in disbelief.

The businessman boasted, "Then you could happily retire
with all the money you've made. You could move to a
quaint coastal fishing village where you could sleep late,
play with your grandchildren, watch ballgames, and take
siesta with your wife. You could stroll to the village in the
evenings where you could play the guitar and sing with your
friends all you want."

The moral of the story is: Know what really matters in life,
and you may find that it is already much closer than you
think.

Based on my observation, most people do not know what the true reason for their existence is—and that this is, of course, the core of the problem.

I make the point that this is not our fault. We’ve been told
very little about the real reason for our existence—and of the little we have been told by our ancestors, by our families, by our religions and our cultures and our tribes, nearly all of it is inaccurate.

We have been told that to be happy in life :we need to get the guy, get the girl, get the car, get the job, get the house, get the spouse, get the kids, get the better job, get the better house, get thhe promotion, get the grandkids, get the gray hair, get the office in the corner, get the retirement watch, get the illness, get the burial plot, and get the hell out.

We have been told that: we need to obey God’s commands, do God’s will, follow God’s law, spread God’s word, and fear God’ wrath, for when we face God’s judgment we will be begging for God’s mercy—and, depending on our offenses, we may not get it, but rather, may find ourselves condemned to everlasting and unbearable torture in the fires of hell.

We have been told about: the Survival of the Fittest, Nice Guys Finish Last, The One with the Most Toys Wins, It's Every Man for Himself, The End Justifies the Means, Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees and that We’re to Be Seen
and Not Heard, We Are Not to Color Outside the
Lines and that We Made Our Bed and Now We Have to Lie in it.

We’d Better Get It Right, that It’s Us Against Them, and
that We Can’t Fight City Hall; that we should Never Raise
Our Head Above the Crowd, that We Can’t Have Our Cake
and Eat It, and that We should Never Count Our Chickens
Before They Hatch.

And now, Society’s Collapse Is Imminent, All Social Systems Are Falling Apart, and that soon our world will return to Cave Man Days.

Our Minds have been filled with many, many other
messages that have created a day-to-day reality so far
removed from our real reason for being on the Earth, that
it's a wonder we find any joy or excitement in life at all—
much less muster the energy to change any of the things
that really do need to be changed on our planet if a
wonderful future for humanity is to be assured.
Yet most of the things that are “wrong” with life on Earth in the 21st Century would right themselves by themselves if the majority of human beings simply refocused their
attention on The Only Thing That Matters.


And what, exactly, is that?

It is the Agenda of the Soul. It is the Sacred Journey. It is
the Divine Purpose.


We are on a journey here, it is not the journey from birth to death. It is a journey from way before birth to long after death. Yet our here-and-now awareness of the purpose and destination of this journey can play an extraordinary effect on our day-to-day life—in some cases changing it forever, and in many ways maybe even changing the world by changing that part of the world we touch.

Here are a few things to do, as to focus on what really matters to you:


1. Is this useful?

I have found that it is very easy to spend a lot of time on things that do not really matter much. To spend
hours or days or even weeks on being angry at someone, replaying a mistake or failure in one’s mind or to dwell on something negative and feeling more
and more like a victim.

You can waste a big chunk of a year on that.

So I try to ask myself this question as often as I can to question and confront my own thoughts. To catch myself and to wake myself up when I get stuck in
negative thought loops going round and round.

By doing so I suffer less. I waste less time on going round in circles. And I spend more of this very valuable resource on finding a practical solution.

2. What is the most important thing I can do right now?

If you get lost in what to do in your day, week and life then this question can be very helpful.

It might not always give you the answer you want, because the most important thing you can do right now
is often one of the harder things you can do.

But it will help you to truly focus on the few things that matters the most in any area of your life. And if it feels too hard to get started with that then just ask
yourself…

3. What is one small step I can take right now to get
the ball rolling?

This is my favorite question for when I want to get started with something or if I want to get going again with something that I have let fall to the side for some reason.

Because it makes things easier. Makes them feel
lighter.

This question prevents me from trying to escape into procrastination and helps me to avoid the side-effects
of that such as sinking self-esteem, self-loathing and simply a lot of time being wasted on trying to hide.

4. Is there anyone on the planet having it worse
than me right now?

This question does seldom deliver enjoyable answers, but it sure does snap me out of negative thinking or
feeling sorry for myself. Now, I think it is natural to sometimes feel sad or
sorry for yourself for a little while. If you don’t take the time to process such natural responses to negative situations then those feelings can pop up later. And so you feel explicably sad or you might get angry or irritated at other people for no good reason.

But my experience is also that these things can go too far. It is easy in getting stuck in these disempowering
thoughts for too long and let them suck the life and joy out of you.

So I like to use this question to zoom out when I feel that my perspective has become too self-centered and narrow.

And it has over the years taught me a lot about the things – that I may too often take for granted – that I can be very grateful for in my life.

5. Will this matter in 5 years? Or even 5 weeks?

This one helps me to simplify.
To let go.

To not make a mountain out of a molehill.

To find the healthier and happier perspective.

To not lose my focus and energy to crippling worries.

Thursday 24 April 2014

HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOURSELF?


"Know yourself your own if you want to succeed",is a popular motivational quote that we often hear from successful people who have realized their dreams. Today many people idolize other people. Not infrequently they do anything to be like their idol, I think this is foolish. I do not mean to say that to be like your idol is wrong, it does not mean that you must be that person.

 If you are ignorant, or deluding yourself, about what you are really like, you will be held back in your development as a human being because, in effect, you're working blind. You can't really get somewhere unless you have a good idea where you are at the moment.

Many people think more easily solve problems if we become someone else who may have nothing to do with the problems we face. Fame, wealth, position and even all the others have to be something that often makes us want to live like them. Therefore we try to be that person.

 Do not forget the achievement of a person is directly proportional to their hard work to realize the dream into reality. Today we see our idol success that they dream, that in accordance with their hard work to achieve their dreams.

Sometimes we are often unable to distinguish between dreams and reality. So far, we have a dream to succeed and realize that dream into reality. However, never try to start making those dreams come true. Dream is something abstract when we are not able to realize it, not even someone who rarely has a dream too high to make him look stupid.

Know yourself more than just understanding your character. I'd say that honest self understanding is both necessary and hugely valuable if individuals, communities and perhaps even the whole human race are to develop further in a fruitful and positive way.

Think about this. Do you ever perplex yourself or find yourself asking 'Why on earth did I do that?' Have you ever noticed how people seem to have very different perceptions of themselves compared to how others view them? Low self esteem is so often a lack of genuine self understanding.

Why is it important for us to not be too self deluded? Well, for one thing, research shows us that people whose 'conscious' and 'unconscious' motivations are aligned - i.e. what they say matches up with what they do - are happier and healthier than their less self knowledgeable peers. Having a more balanced and objective take on yourself can make you happier and more effective in pursuing your goals.

Truthfully, much of our behavior is driven by unconscious processes. It's been estimated that every second our five senses take in eleven million pieces of information. We know this because scientists have counted the number of receptor cells on each sense organ and the nerves that go from these cells to the brain. However,we can only consciously process about forty bits of information a second. So large parts of our experience are unavoidably unknowable to us as far as conscious awareness is concerned.

We don't need to be conscious of every subliminal causal factor behind our behavior. But sometimes it really does matter to know that what's influencing you is not what you think it is.

People often completely misattribute their own actions and behavior. A friend of mine was once about to give a speech. Normally, he would have been very relaxed about this. I was there at the time, and he told me he felt rather sick and his heart was racing and so he concluded that he must be really nervous. Later, he discovered he had food poisoning, but he'd attributed what was really the effects of a bad meal to anxiety about his speech.

One way to know ourselves better is to get better at tolerating our own uncertainty about what lies behind our behavior. For example, if I blush when I'm talking to someone, this response may take me by surprise as much as the person I'm talking with.

I didn't know I was going to blush, but it happened. Maybe below my conscious awareness this person reminded me of someone I was attracted to at school. However, if, as is likely, I'm unaware of this, I might rationalize and come up with a reason to explain my red face. I might tell myself I blushed because I felt they were being a little rude in how they were speaking to me. Now I've made up a theory that takes me away from true self knowledge. But if I relax with not knowing, and don't immediately look for an 'explanation', I give my unconscious mind a chance to produce its own reason - which, generally, will be more accurate.

It might go like this. After the blushing incident I might say to myself: "Hmm, that was interesting! I wonder why I blushed? I don't usually! There must be some reason!" Perhaps later in the day, when I'm not consciously thinking about it, my unconscious mind will produce an image of that girl I was attracted to in high school all those years ago, and I see the match between the woman I'd been talking to today and the girl I was too shy to speak to at fifteen.

So hold back. Don't jump to conclusions or theories about your own responses too quickly, especially when they strike you as unusual.

It's often said that to really understand someone's motivations you need to watch what they do and not just listen to what they say. If someone repeatedly tells you they love you, but also regularly treats you badly, then what should you believe - their words or their actions? If someone lectures others about the importance of punctuality but is always late themselves... well, it's that repeated tardiness that unlocks the real knowledge as to what they are like.

Get into the habit of watching your own behavior as objectively as possible - almost as if you were another person. Forget about the image you try to present to others or what you like to think about yourself, even if those things are negative.

We readily assume that we can judge and predict our own behaviors better than non-involved strangers can, but the research doesn't bear this out. In one study, college friends were much more likely to accurately predict the outcome of a romantic relationship than either partner in the couple itself. Even people who didn't know the couple at all could do this just by watching the two partners interact. And two researchers called Nisbett and Wilson found that complete strangers can often make more accurate predictions as to how we'll react to something than we can ourselves.

So in summary, we can come to understand ourselves better by:
•understanding that we don't have immediate conscious access to all our motivations.

•Realizing that it's easy to make up reasons that flatter us or fit a preconceived pattern of low or high self esteem but that don't actually match up with the truth.

•Accepting that we might be responding automatically to a new person or situation simply because of a superficial resemblance to a previous person or time.

•Refraining from jumping to conclusions about our own actions, motivations and responses.

•Watching ourselves as calmly and objectively as possible, focusing on what we do, not just on what we tell ourselves and other.

       THE END.

Friday 18 April 2014

THE IMPORTANCE OF HUMILITY

 
            "If thou desire the love of God and man, be humble; for
             the proud heart, as it loves none but itself, so it is believed
             for none but by itself; the voice of humility is God's music,
             and the silence of humility is God's rhetoric. Humility enforces
              where neither virtue nor strength can prevail nor reason."

              "He who sacrifices a whole offering shall be rewarded for a
              whole offering; he who offers a burnt-offering shall have the
               reward of a burnt-offering; but he who offers humility to God
                and man shall be rewarded with a reward as if he had offered
                 all the sacrifices in the world."

Misfortune humiliates some people, while others learn humility. When trouble happens, you can react either way. You might believe that life has abused you, made you a victim and that you have been humiliated. Or you might understand — from the same experience — that you have learned something. Being prepared to set aside old notions and be taught by life is learning humility. The choice you make depends on your attitude.

Some people fail forward. Others fail and quickly spiral downward. These two types of people are very different, but how?

 “The difference is on the inside. It’s the spirit of the individual. Those who profit from adversity possess a spirit of humility and are therefore inclined to make the necessary changes needed to learn from their mistakes, failures, and losses. They stand in stark contrast to prideful people who are unwilling to allow adversity to be their teacher and as a result fail to learn.”1

 But failure to learn isn’t the only way pride impacts a leader. Prideful people blame others, deny the obvious truth, and are closed-minded, rigid, insecure, and isolated from others. All of these can be detrimental to a leader, especially one who is interested in growing.

 However, if leaders can move past arrogance and work toward humility, they can become the very best. Great talent is good, but great talent with a spirit of learning is better. As leaders, we need more than just talent to be successful. In fact, humble leaders must not boast in their talent, but instead, must be confident in the ways they can build others and build organizations regardless of failure.

Romans 11:18 (International Standard translation)
"Do not boast about being better than the other branches. If you boast, remember that you do not support the root, but the root supports you"

In other words, no matter what you do, no matter how successful you are, no matter how lucky you are, never boast about being better than others. Because in the end, you are really just a branch. Whatever you do is just part of that branch, connected to other branches and a tree that is way larger than you.
 
Humility is an asset for self-improvement. By remaining humble, you are receptive to opportunities to improve. If I suggest a way you might triple your business, you have to accept the possibility that your current way of doing things is costing you 2/3′s of your potential revenue. Only with humility can you allow this incredible advice to sink in.

Humility is an underrated virtue. For every ten articles I see written about how to improve self-confidence, I only see one that suggests humility might be important at all.

 Beyond personal success, humility is also a virtue for inner well-being. Frustrations and losses don’t have the same impact if you don’t get your ego involved. If you combine humility with motivation, you have the ability to drive towards successes without letting the failures knock you out of balance.